Suraj Ka Satvan Ghoda

With new transition in life, I happened to get a lot of time exploring what I really loved...Painting, reading, photography, exploring new tastes, new places and even watching old TV serials and movies. I love and relish cinema with substance. This may sound both weird and interesting but I enjoy characters from movies and novels and like how they shape in different situations. I am not critical about movies but do enjoy watching classics, comedies, romance and art movies. Oh yes, I love art movies. Something about these movies makes them beautiful, stimulating and live long in my memory. One of such classic art movie that impressed me most is 'Suraj kaa satwaan ghoda' or 'The Seventh Horse of the Sun"(1993) by Shyam Benegal . Its a retro movie based and named after a famous book by Dharmveer Bharati Ji. This movie is beautiful, mysterious and very thought provoking. The more I watch and think, the more it walks me to a void of question and answers. Film maker Shyam Benegal's choice of actors and editing is so perfect that it brings life to each character.The beauty of both movie and the book is that every character is so real and shares a story of their own which is entangled in a captivating and thrilling manner. The movie shares sets of mini-narratives by the lead character Manik Mulla that are interwoven beautifully. Each of these mini narrative includes stories of three women in Manik's life -Jamuna, Lily and Satti and how class, economy, intellect and society decides and changes definition of love in his life. A few more prominent characters include Mahesar Dalal and Tanna. The movie also includes narratives and extracts from a classic Devdas that adds meaning and creates a new perspective for characters. The main lead includes - Rajit Kapur, Amrish Puri,Neena Gupta, Rajeshwari Sachdev and Pallavi Joshi.

A Brief Look: Suraj Ka Satvan Ghoda

My recommendation - Must Watch!

The Art of Saying No

Can I say 'No' to someone? Will it be okay if I say No...Ohh its rude if I say ‘No’! What will others think if I say No!
Have you ever faced this scenario? Honestly, all of us do it at some point of life or rather let me take the liberty of saying we do it every day, and may be every time. What is the thought process – Does the dilemma of our inner conscience always wins with strong opinions for not supporting ‘No’ as an answer or is it that saying ‘No’ is a taboo that projects a non social behavior. I always had a hard time saying ‘No’ , possibly because in my head the image of ‘Yes’ is better and more convenient while ‘No’ is negative, stubborn and selfish. Yes pulls a nice self image, with a question free zone and makes me look good even though the side effects of saying yes may be questionable. No matter how easy it is to say Yes, hard times demand for hard decisions and when there is no choice you tend to choose the hard option which in my case was saying – NO. It was spontaneous, and came with a relief. A relief of nothingness, a relief of free self image, a relief of making the right choice and not overcommitting. Saying No was the easiest thing. As easy as saying Yes. It made me also realize that like Yes, No is also a complete answer. All the reasoning I had was for myself and no one other  The key lies is in maintaining the poise and appreciating that its okay to say No. No is not a sign of arrogance, but of respect. A respect of humility of not overcommitting. In some places, a No may be acceptance to our inabilities. Be a child, accept you don’t know something and be open to learn. Saying No may be key to new doors that lead to freedom.

Marriage

I guess this one was due from long… :)

Marriage is supposed to be an integral part of our life…I can say this not because now I am experiencing this phase but coz a few months back every creature on the planet used to make me realize this fact that I am not married or rather I am STILL SINGLE!

I belong to a country where marriages are still a tradition and still account most of parent’s choices and a hell lot of things beyond just liking each other. It is a process where you tend to make your choices based on star positions, family background, financial health, boy/ girls particulars (which may include any and every thing)…yet all of it has a fun part associated with it too which may not be explicit but definitely an implied one. On the looks of it, it seems one of the most embarrassing phase where you are being gazed at by so many pairs of eyes looking for possibly all the qualities on the planet, and mind you one single mismatch and you are out, yet truly if you start looking towards the other side of the coin you’ll realize that the others are even through similar scrutiny.

Every arranged marriage can be defined by protocol which has to be followed by everyone before their fate is finally decided and of course I am no exception to it. In initial phases I used to just hate these meetings set up for a formal introduction of prospects but eventually my purview for these meetings changed. The beginning/ end of this process may not be great but certainly the middle part was a lot more fun.

In my case most of my friends didn’t face the fun of going through these phases ...not too sure the readers would either have faced such instances but yes those who have had a chance of such meetings would know that they are worth stories to be shared atleast for the fun sake of it after you meet your fate. It might not be funny at times when there are serious and severe cases associated with your meeting.

Every meeting in general is accompanied with a series of activities pre set which starts with the initial talks between the parents, horoscope matching, background check, exchange of email addresses/ contact number/ setting up formal meetings with the prospect. Stages may vary from case to case.

I was watching this scene from the movie ‘Namaste London’ where Katrina Kaif visits India accidentally to meet some prospects and ends up in hilarious events of meetings. Guys talking some all nonsense stuff in non-sense tone. I had some ever memorable hilarious conversation in my case with the prospects. Some have even ended in the first line of the conversation where the guy starts with – Hi, I am Mr. X…So what are your expectations…!! Man! How the hell on the planet can I sum it up atleast in the first line of conversation? Or in some cases one of the parents of the prospect takes the lead…They start, continue and end the conversation by themselves…something like… ‘You did your undergrad from XYZ college, Mastered in ABC topic, Mr. Y was your competitor and your interests are…’…. Is there something about myself which I can add on, provided the other party helps me in saying something! Else somebody is proving that there is ‘No one better on the planet than the party’s prospect’. It may sound a disgrace to those who have been doing it …however you never know what to do in such situations.
Starting conversation and continuing with somebody whom you are meeting for the first time and that too deciding on your life partner in one meeting is tricky. Yet destiny guides you in making your choice to your fate.

Path of Possibilities

As a girl I was brought up pretty independently by my parents…My father unconventionally always took a pride of teaching me ways an means to be self-determining, make choices free of any haste, boundation. When I say unconventionally, it’s because of the place where I belong to, it is not very natural phenomenon practiced by all fathers.
However, as a kid, I never enjoyed these powers coz they made me always had a feeling that my parents never cared for me…and that was a persistent only area of complaint I had against them…how can my best friends father always come and see her off while my Mom and Dad are still busy with their daily chores, why does nobody cares to just buy stuff for me and I am just asked once what I bought...after all I am a girl and I need help at times…and I do deserve it isn’t it !!! As years passed and I got into my later stages of life I realized how important it was of what they did in the very beginning…when I needed them the most they were there…naturally without even mentioning that I need them… My dependence on any one for small things ended up…if somebody helped me in things which I couldn’t do/ found difficult to do, it was fine…if nobody is there to help me out, even better coz then I could use all my powers to find ways and means to get it done by nobody else but me!...I guess it always gave me a feeling of accomplishment of doing something all by my own. Life is like that…you learn more when you start learning from your experiences. I have heard this story of a man who is in deep love with a cocoon in his garden, nurtures it constantly with all pride of nature. One fine day when he sees a young moth coming out of the cocoon, he feels empathetic with the troubles ad pain faced by the infant in the new world. To cut short its tough time of pain, the man picks up a scissor and breaks the cocoon to set the young butterfly free from its old shell. However his magnanimity could no longer help the infant, as in the later course of time, it restricted the young month to strengthen its wings. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the moth to get through the tiny opening was the way of forcing fluid from the body of the moth into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Freedom and flight could only come after the struggle. By depriving the moth of its struggle, he deprived the moth of health and freedom.
Strange yet true, our hardships make us a better creature to survive. The more we confront it and feel the pain, the stronger we become to face the world realities. Saying all that doesn’t means experiencing experiences are the only means of learning. An adage: a man is wise if he learns from his experience; even wiser if he learns from the experiences of others. So if it’s my way your way or no way, important is the experience we carry forward to create a path of possibilities…

Luck By Chance

The topic of destiny to me has been a matter of discussion for quite a long time. If things just happen by a matter of luck, then why do we need to toil hard for something…it’s just a matter of destiny and I’ll get what is written...

I had read a story in my school days by the name ‘The Ant and the Grasshopper’. Ant works hard throughout the springs to enjoy a comfortable winter whereas grasshopper enjoys each and every bit of time loitering around and ends up in difficult situation when winters arise...So, does an Ant enjoys his destiny or is it hard work.

Taking analogy from the story is it destiny or deed which determines our present…how do we draw a thin line between the two, is a question. Also, if everything is predetermined, can we desire to do something beyond our destiny…can we have aspirations and dreams which are beyond what is written!

Offlate a couple of my friends spoke to me about the theory of past karma…As per this theory, clearing past karma by practicing good deed in the present helps us to create a better and a brighter today… I’ve always preferred to live in my present, learn from the past and look to the future. That means I always took the learning from the past, preferred completing it there itself and just move on…move on to me was leaving past where it was and exploring new areas of possibility which were future oriented…it didn’t gave me a brighter today but it never made me regret my past either. And what I always felt was whether by luck, chance or deed that always made me happier. No regrets…no bad thoughts….only bliss…I practiced it at every stage…knowingly, unknowingly by choice or by chance. So if I look back now to my past, clearing my so called past karma thinking that it would really impact my present way of being…well honestly I don’t know how to do that…As always it boils down to generating a lot of questions in my mind which are unanswered.

We always feel lucky if something happens to us naturally with or without turmoil. And if this happening is something which was really awaited…It’s a bonus!!…So how do we create our destiny?

From my experiences so far I believe you get what you truly believe in…it may be pleasure or pain, success or failure, pride or prejudice it’s again a matter of choice. I’ve had the flavor of both the oxymoron at different stages and consequences, again by knowingly or unknowing attracting both of them...so if someone asks me was it deed or destiny I would say deed made the destiny. Taking lessons from the past, joining the dots to the future never comes naturally…atleast not to me…however, it is an interesting phenomena to predict what might be there for you…what you need to do is to read the signs available and take learning’s from there.

Joining the dots of the past experiences, and relating it to my present and future has helped me to create a path for my destiny. I am a strong believer of destiny…However, I feel a very strong contribution of our fate is driven by the path we follow. Our destiny decides our fate; our deed decides the path to the providence. So, if luck just happens by chance, it’s somewhere a reward to the endeavor which has been put at some point of time by no one but me. All is in the present…so live it, feel it and enjoy it coz this will always help you think of a beautiful past and create a brighter future.

My Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness to each of us means the quantum of enjoyment we get by an act...it may be brought by anything...watching rains outside the window, lazing around for long hours, working hard to get a bit of appreciation from somebody who means of lot to us etc...If that is the case why don’t we feel happy all the time...and what is that Pursuit of Happiness we are looking out for...

The quest for personal happiness begins with the individual himself. Many of the unhappiness felt by individuals stem from three major causes: comparison with others, personal images of perfection and an obsession with spotting flaws in one's self.

In a forum I attended a couple of years back, the forum leader spoke about 'Choices'. Now 'choices' here is for something we 'choose to do', immaterialist of what are the consequences it brings to us. A ‘Choice’ comes naturally, indifferentially without biases and without a thought of rightness or wrongness. So what happens to us at any point of time is the choice we make at that point of time in that situation.

Putting the same analogy to our happiness, it’s again the choice which we make in our life. Happiness comes to us naturally. We choose to enjoy a moment, live it to the fullest and feel happy about it...and anything which makes us not so happy is something which makes us 'Learned' and will help us to open new doors of happiness in the near future.

Each one of us have had gone through or going through a bad patch in our lives...and I am nowhere an exception...but when I look back to all the lesser happier phases of my life I feel good about them with the feeling that had they not been there to me, I would have certainly not have had the experience of learning and dealing with the situations better in my present.

Somebody told me it’s always advisable to let off go everything...The question is how... is that feasible, practical or even possible...

The answer what I got was 'YES'...and honestly speaking...practicing it is equally simple too...Again from the analogy of choices you have a choice to stick to the things…be lesser happy about them and mourn; the second one would be to think the learning you got, think had this would have not happened to you would you have been deprived of knowing and finally how did it really impact your belief system of dealing with things if this would have not taken place…and just let it go

In most of the cases that happened to me I came out with the feeling that good it happened to me and now looking at the bigger picture I feel – what’s bad about it…its ok to be OK

My pursuit of happiness lies in experiencing things the way they happen. Accepting them or letting them go is a matter of choice…Its ‘OK’ to be just happy and feel good and keep going with all the experiences… but more important is to look to the Bigger picture of happiness you will experience or are experiencing as a consequence of a happening…

The Lesson of the Moth

I was talking to a moth the other evening.
He was trying to break into an electric light bulb and fry himself on the wire. “Why do you fellows pull this stunt?” I asked him. “Because it is a conventional thing for moths? Or why, if that had been an uncovered candle, instead of an electric light bulb, You would now be a small, unsightly cinder. Have you no sense?” “Plenty of it, he answered, “but at times we get tired of using it. We get bored with the routine and crave beauty and excitement. Fire is beautiful and we know that if we get too close it will kill us, But what does it matter? It is better to be happy for a moment and be burned up with beauty Than to live a long time and be bored all the while. So we wad all our life up into one little roll, And then we shoot the roll. That’s what life is for. It is better to be a part of beauty for one instant And then cease to exist, Than to exist forever and never be a part of beauty. Our attitude toward life is Come easy, go easy. We’re like human beings used to be before they became too civilized to enjoy themselves.” And before I could argue him out of his philosophy, He went and immolated himself on a patented cigar lighter. I do not agree with him. Myself, I would rather have half the happiness And twice the longevity. But at the same time, I wished there was something I wanted As badly as he wanted to fry himself.

- By Don Marquis